The Difficulty of Writing

It’s been a few months since I posted anything on this blog. It’s also been a few months since I’ve written anything. I think it’s a mix of stress and general unhappiness with my 9-to-5 that keeps me from really wanting to do much writing, as well as a potentially unhealthy obsession with TV (especially Korean dramas). The last time I found writing to be this challenging was 2008 when I started my first year of the MFA program. It felt forced then–like I was trying to be something I wasn’t. It feels forced now too, but for different reasons.

I am working on a new project. Something in the YA-fantasy field. I’m trying to go with my normal “write with your heart” for the first draft, and I do think I’m accomplishing that. I’ve had a few good writing days the last few weekends. Who knows if this will go anywhere or if I’ll complete the draft and end up doing anything with it. I wish I was excited about writing. I wish it wasn’t so difficult.


So… I’ve started a new attempt at book six in my KILLING MEMORIES series. I’m a different writer than I was when I first wrote this series in 2002-2006, so I’m not expecting to fall right back into the same writing style. It’s slow going right now–only 20 pages in–and a little dark and sad at the beginning, which makes me wonder if I’ll be able to pull it together to have a decent story that picks up the light, playful tone of the other books.

I don’t know. Nothing really excites me about writing at the moment. I’m definitely feeling like I’m in a bit of a slump, which sucks. So, in order to hopefully break out of this, my new goal is to write at least 1 page a day. I’ve written 5 pages so far today, so I guess it’s working.

No promises that I’ll actually finish KM6 — untitled at the moment (not a good sign). I hope I do, but like I’ve always said. I’m not going to write it without having a solid idea that I’m proud of. At the moment, it’s a bit of a free write.  Want a taste? Okay… here’s part of the opening (subject to change):

Shoved into a closet full of butt plugs, leather whips, manacles, gags, dildos, fake butts and vaginas, and mannequins covered from head to toe in black Lycra with nothing but butt, nipple, and mouth holes, a bloody hand moved over my mouth as an equally strong arm, despite the cuts and lacerations and bruises, wound around my middle pulling me close against a naked and equally battered body. I could feel her heart racing against my spine and knew that she held me not for my protection, but for her comfort. I nodded once and she released my mouth. I smacked at my face, but the taste of her blood had already hit my tongue and I couldn’t help but dry heave and spit—quietly—onto the floor. Madame Cherry freed me to carefully position her sex mannequins around us in a semicircle. They stood with their mouths, lined with rubber spikes, wide open, like some perverted sentry ready to defend their dominatrix queen.

BANG! Bangbangbang!

Her arms were back around me and we curled into a ball of human arms and legs. I wasn’t sure where she began and I ended. Her breath was hot against my neck. I frantically searched for her hand and grabbed it in mine.

“FIND HER!” a man bellowed.

Contrary to popular belief among my family and friends, I’d never gone looking for trouble. I never asked to be a part of murder investigations. I never wanted trouble. That’s not to say that it wasn’t exciting when it smacked me right in the face, but I never went looking for it. Anything I’d ever done that was remotely dangerous was done in the name of love.

Excerpt: Prologue KM6


Goodreads Giveaway Over!

Congratulations to the three contest winners for KILLING MEMORIES book 1 (two in GB one in CA!). Your copies will be on the way soon. For those who didn’t win this time around, be sure to check out the ebook which is still FREE online.

In other news, November 1st is right around the corner, which means another year for NaNoWriMo! I’ve tried and failed twice and participating in National Novel Writing Month. This year, I think I may try to put together a fun holiday novella. You know… snow, romance, cabin (or castle), hot mulled cider. I’m feeling very holiday for some reason. Probably because it’s finally my favorite season: fall.

Starting New Projects

After finiswriters_block_boxer_shortshing a novel and publishing it, I always fall into a strange creative space where I feel a little lost and helpless. It’s an “I know I should start the next project, but what is that next project” hole. It’s definitely writer’s block and I feel like I’m not going to break through it! I thought I finally found a new project to work on, but I’m not really sure. I wrote 40 pages a few weeks ago and scrapped them to start over. Now I’m 17 pages in and I just don’t know. I miss the times when the stories just flew out of me (like with the KM series). I’m no where close to writing a new KM book (sorry to disappoint!); I’m not even excited about editing the current series to prepare the rest of the books for print on demand (not that there’s much of a demand presently). Ugh! I’m just not excited right now… I may need a “writer” vacation and go away somewhere for the weekend all by myself.

I may actually need to do that period. There are a lot of areas of my life that I need to regroup on–maybe if I get those other areas right the words will come.

KM Series Gets New Covers

So, I’ve been toiling for months working on redesigning the five covers of my KILLING MEMORIES series. Why? Moving to print on demand, I felt that they needed an overhaul. In truth, they probably need an upgrade even if I decide not to follow through with the on demand thing. I spend a lot of time in book stores and I’ve decided, perhaps belatedly, that if you were to put the e-book cover next to any print cover on the market, I don’t think mine would be taken seriously. Maybe this revamp will help bring in new readers, who knows. Maybe it won’t do anything. Maybe it will actually hurt my sales (not that it can really do any true harm at this point). Anyway… here are the redesigns.


Overall, I’m pretty happy with them, but it’s been an exhausting process to say the least.

Revising, Revising, Revising

I am amazed at the amount of errors I’m still finding in this “final” draft of AROUND THE WORLD TONIGHT. This just goes to show that nothing will probably ever be 100% perfect in my eyes. Most of what I’m finding aren’t the typos and odd formatting issues I was expecting, but little tweaks to words and removal of whole sentences. I find myself to be a stickler for deleting any duplicate word that appears in two back-to-back sentences. I still love editing though. It’s probably one of my favorite parts of the process. But there comes a point when I have to stop editing and start writing something new. I think I’ve decided to pick up THE JADE BRACELET, an unfinished project from several years ago as my next novel. I have about 100 pages written and will need to be rewritten before I can finish. However, my mind has been going in an entirely new direction lately. Something more along the lines of YA supernatural/fantasy. Then I also had the idea of a romantic suspense…. my mind is all over the place creatively. I suppose I just need to get writing, period.

Updated AROUND THE WORLD TONIGHT cover now on the books page! See… editing never ends!

Powerful Thoughts

“If you jump into a black hole, your mass energy will be returned to our universe but in a mangled form which contains the information about what you were like but in a state where it can not be easily recognized. It is like burning an encyclopedia. Information is not lost, if one keeps the smoke and the ashes. But it is difficult to read.” – Stephen Hawking